yes im officially in lonely biscuit town...my hubby is away in scotland, and im on me todd! i went out for drinkies last night with chums and had a great time, but ive had only about 2 hous sleep as i hate being on my own in the house over night, im such a weedy pigeon. i always think the burglars will choose the exact night my husband is away to break in and pillage the house and me!. i know im paranoid...to the extent ive been up since 5.30am as i couldnt tolerate lying in bed thinking so i got the tinty web on and banged on a couple of episodes of columbo!! ...er just one more thing!

so ive been incredibly busy for weeks now, what with my mums and my health problems, and being stressed about an impending job interview and trying to make the house nice as we are selling it.

good news...i got my promotion, but they have swindled me out of my pay increment (long story) ...bastard NHS. and i have a house viewing on sunday. weeve put an offer in on a house but its dependent on selling ours. oh also i have the race for life tomorow...im not able to run it as ive been so unwel, but its taking part that counts right?!

so its getting to the interesting bit with the lieutenant...im off for now!

i borrowed this from youtube...for all those who are dying to ask yes it is still available on DVD and video!!

if he wasnt married, and i wasnt married...christ he would have to beat me off with a big stick|!!

walking in a waddle wonderland..

check this out its pretty cool, chris corner of sneaker pimps...found out about them due to links with mighty boosh cast and R.I.D girls.

its been a while since i wrote anything, my life has been really weird for the past few weeks, as you might be aware ive has thyroid problems, then my mum was diagnosed with thyroid problems..then a few days later she collapsed in the garden, bless her she looked like a battered wife, we spend another glorious evening / night in A&E making sure she was ok. thankfully she is fine, but still having anxiety do's and palpitations...shes under investigation by the cardiology team. i hate the fact my parents are aging, at times they look so frail and vulnerable and both are under 60! i know i cant stop time, so im spending as much of my time with them, im lucky i get on wit them unbelievably well, as does my hubby, he actually calls my dad "dad", and we go away on hols together, and me and my mum go shoppin whilst the boys go for beverages

in addition to this run of bad things happening to my mum, me and my husband are getting on soooo well, we went through a bad patch a while ago, i just used to have a go all the time, now i know alot of that was down to how my faulty thyroid affected my emotional state...a book i have been reading on thyroid dysfunction states that many people with hyperthyroid end up seperating / divorsing from partners as they have bursts of anger and argue all the time, not being able to control their anger. so i have been appologising profusely, not for everythin you understand, he's still a git sometimes, but has been really understanding for months and months. he has been syaing since new year that he wants us to have a baby, and without details weve started trying, im taking folic acid now on the recommendation of a good friend, and my hubby keeps being fab, teling me in the middle of shopping in town how he cant wait for me to have his babies and that we can move house sometime this year (another story, but thats been a long fought battle to move), i hate being all happy sometimes when others may be feeling rubbish, but you have to enjoy the good bits or they pass you by..right!?

theres no place like home...

as i was growing up i used to think i was adopted, partly due o the fact my brother and sister would tell me i was! anyway, i used to believe them as my sister looked like my mum and my brother like my dad...me..i didnt look like either, plus the fact they said they didnt have a camera at the time i was born and only had pictures of me from about the age of 2 ish. suspicious you may say...but my parents reassured me that i was indeed a seed from their loins (shudder). i accepted this..as ive grown older i have started to look like my mum, ive grown my hair, slimmed down and everyone we meet says we look somewhat alike. i love this i finally have the connection i longed for as a child. to boot, i have my dads assertiveness (aggression!) and temperament, this is also handy to get ahead in life. unfortunatley i got the stocky / short gene from my dad! anyway, to the point, i feel like me and my mum are two peas in a pod, and as some of you may recall my ramblings about my health, i am hyperthyroid....well not to be left out my mum's just been diagnosed as hypothyroid..so weird, not heard a sausage about these disorders now its running in the family, and being featured on holby city! my sister is going to be tested next, were going for a hat trick!.
we will be the font of all knowledge for thyroid defunctness!!!!

the results are in....i saw my consultant endocrinologist on monday and he diagnosed me with Grave's Disease, one of the most common causes of hyperthyroidism (over active thyroid). everything has slotted into place, all my symptoms which i thought i was imagining have been confirmed, im not going mad, these things are really happening. my consultant checked me over and determined that ive had the autoimmune disorder for about 4 months, and that the fatigue, shortness of breath and inability to run more than about 200 yards is all related to my thyroid which has left me with muscle weakness and wastage of my upper and lower limbs. obviously im upset that all these syptoms are present but im so grateful to whatever compelled me to get checked in the first place, if i had shrugged off the symptoms as stress or generally feelling unwell and thought it would have got better, i could have ended up infirtile or having a heart attack in severe cases.

so, the consultant told me what course of action to take, i continue to take my medication for approx 18 months, (rather than radioiodine treatment or surgery) as he said the medication is about 70% effective for women under 30 years old, and that those women who do become pregnant often dont need to take meds during the term of pregnancy as the syptoms resolve (but come back with a vengence after the baby is born). some women become very unwell during pregnancy but can have surgery to remove the thyroid if necessary. so, in short, i carry on taking the tablets, try to get pregnant, if and when i do, i get checked monthly for my throid levels. the consultant was fantastic, so fantastic explaining everything and made the hard decisions for me which is what i wanted.

so, all remains for me is to get pregnant..it may take a while but me and my hubby will try our best again, thank god for small mercies, if i hadnt of known, i would have had difficlty concieving and most probably miscarried, and not have found out my diagnosis until i needed explorations into my fertility problems. alls well that ends well.

me and my hubby went to see the New Stateman with Rik Mayall last night, needless to say it was f*cking hillarious, i wont give away the secrets of the night but at times it felt like a fusion of his comedy series 'bottom' and new statesman. never have i laughed so much at sex simulated on stage. we invested in a Vote B'Stard rosette and programme. Rik Mayall is indeed a god in comedy terms!

you brighten my days, and make my nights out barely legal, here's to you!

this took me ages to find as i couldnt recall the bands name, please no more singing this in the taxi on the way home! (the vid was gonne be electric 6 but i associate this more with you!)

this makes me think of you everytime i hear it. your a star!